hello! i’ve checked your faq but i’m so new and v. confused, so i thought i’d just ask. i understand what the term headmate is used for in regards to this community, but i am confused if its supposed to be completely different from what a person with dissociative identity disorder means when talking about their headmates, or if they mean the same and meant for people w DID but alters that are similar to fic characters? sometimes some say anyone can develop headmates but thats not how DID works?

First of all, just to clear things up, headmates have nothing to do with fictionkin or otherkin. Headmate as a term came about to describe…

I’m considering creating a spin-off new blog from this one, specifically a soulbonding ask/informational blog. Considering this because of the volume of soulbonding asks I’ve…

A long time ago you touched on the topic of “fictional others” when an anon brought it up. What do you think of people who have multiple fictional others? I’ve found a friend who’s familiar with the concept and she has like, five. She IS polyamorous, but do you think that’s questionable? I’m not quite sure what I think yet. I’m still new to the concept, haha.

By fictional others, I gather that you mean romantic interactions with fictives/soulbonds/headmates. My personal feelings are that there is nothing wrong with having these relationships…

Is it possible to have a soulbond that functions as a tulpa-like being? Usually I hear about soulbonds existing only as headmates, but I interact with mine in the same way that people interact with thoughtforms and tulpas; they’re external (entirely outside of my mind), they cannot ‘front’ or take over for me, and I can feel their presence as a semi-physical sensation.

While most of the soulbonders I’ve known have experienced their bonds functionally as headmates, I have also read posts of some people experiencing them as…

My host has been reading up on soulbonds and fictives quite a bit lately to try to figure out just what each one of us is. I decided to have a look myself and i really do have to wonder….what is a soulbond? My host says we dont fall into that sort of thing but ive seen quite a few things that always contradict other articles and such.

The shortest definition I can come up with is this: A soulbond is an externally originating headmate with a fictional origin that has an emotional…

Hi there. So, you’re sort of the closest thing to an authority on soulbonding that I know of, and I have a question. Is it possible for someone to “accidentally” become a soulbonder? As in they didn’t actively seek anyone out, the connection just sort of randomly happened on its own? Because a lot about it seems like the best term for my situation, but I see a lot about actively creating the bonds, and I worry that that’s a sign that this is really something else?

Hello! I’d like to assure you that its absolutely possible, and in some ways ‘normal’ for soulbonds to just happen. A lot (possibly most) soulbonders don’t…

Just a little bit of a correction, tulpas only sometimes fall into the category of headmates. It really depends on the tulpa. A lot of tulpamancers project their tulpas into imaginary friend like things that they can visualize following them and such. Also, quite a lot of tulpas are unable to actually switch (switch places with the host). Some can do what is called possession which is sort of an in between where the tulpa moves one part of the body such as the hands. (1/2)

But for the most part, from my own experiences along with what I have gathered from others, the majority of tulpas seem to exist in…

I feel kinda bad, like I might be using a soulbond. They don’t seem to be active (or I can’t hear them idk) in anything other than when I’m upset, when they come over and cuddle up and tell me they love me. It’s nice, but it feels wrong and I want to be able to talk to them more. On the other hand it feels like they take over my body, at least partially, when I go outside the house, but it doesn’t feel like communicating. How can I reach out and talk and listen better?

First of all, try not to feel bad. ^^ For one thing, communication with bonds isn’t always easy at first. For another thing, soulbonds often…

How would I go about telling someone I have soulbonds? My best friend thinks otherkin are a joke and I’m afraid she’ll feel the same about my soulbonds even tough she’s a writer too and the concept originated from authors. You’d think since she’s a sexual minority she would understand, but I’m afraid she just doesn’t believe otherkin, especially fictionkin, are anything more than people who are over-obsessed or schizophrenic. Have any advice?

Oooh, this is a tough question. Talking about soulbonds with people who don’t have them runs the risk of the person thinking that you are “crazy”…

With all this talk about fictives and tulpas and soulbonding and such, I’m curious as to what exactly a soulbond is. Are they always connected to a body? Or could it be that they exist elsewhere (i.e. the astral realm or another dimension) but have a “link” to a specific person for one reason or another? If they’re, say, someone from one of your fictionkin’s lives but they aren’t always inside you, are they still a soulbond? Thanks.

All soulbonds come from ‘outside’, originally, which is one thing that makes them soulbonds, as opposed to another kind of headmate. I tend to linken being…

Not sure if you got this question yet, but have you heard of the fictional other coping mechanism? I kno peeps who were “copingkin” and after reading your posts on the subject, realized that the concept of a fictional other was a better coping mech. It’s basically like..I guess an internal RP? A fictional character you take on as a “significant other”. You KNOW it isn’t real, but when you’re lonely or depressed you kind of dwell on that idealized relationship? Hard to describe. Helped me a lot.

Anon, I have a few thoughts on this subject, so I hope you’ll pardon me if I ramble a bit. My first reaction is that…

What’s going on if there’s a different personality in my mind that I can talk to and that shares my memories, and he identifies with the name/pronouns of a fictional character, but the two of us are also kin for different fictional characters simultaneously? Do I have DID and am fictionkin, or am I just fictionkin for all three characters and I like talking to myself? I feel like a liar, even though I’m probably not…

This is definitely a question I can answer! Lets break this down! there’s a different personality in my mind that I can talk to and…

Do you think soulbonds are “real” if they don’t accurately reflect all traits of their personality or memories etc from their canon? (Note: “real” isn’t the word I want to use (it’s kinda rude) but I can’t come up with a better word for this question. I’m not trying to be rude, slap me if I am.)

I don’t think this is a rude question. 🙂 The answer is yes. I consider all soulbonds ‘real’ for lack of a better word, regardless of…

for me (not the same anon), i’m not down with your whole “or you would have two individual headmates” definition because my headmates are not me so they wouldn’t be my past lives or whatever. even if i had a headmate who was the same person i’m ficitonkin of, that headmate would be different and not me. ymmv of course.

No, I completely agree with this. I worded the previous answer generously to allow for someone who hadn’t considered the possibility that the people they…

Hi so I have two questions if you don’t mind! Is it normal to have be fickin and also have fictives? Also, is it considered.. weird/etc for all your kin/fictives to come from just one place? I’ve only recently started coming to terms with being fickin and I’ve suddenly met with two fictives as well, and my 3 kin and fictives all ‘originate’ from one work of fiction. I hope I worded that understandably and thanks :)

Your question was worded just fine. 🙂 It is absolutely common (I won’t say ‘normal’) to be a fictionkin who has headmates, whether they are fictive…