I guess it all comes back to the Otherkin thing…. in a way.
I have beliefs. I believe I have past life memories. And the overwhelming majority of them are painful.
There is safety in the possibility that these are just my mind playing tricks.
And yet, I’ve had more outside verification, more careful collaboration through blind switching of notes, than any other otherkin that I know of could even hope for. I could claim to know I am what I am instead of insisting on using the word believe.
But there is So much safety in the possibility that this is just my mind playing tricks.
So when the woo works, when I move energy around with all the ease of what I am and results come with a minimum of effort, it’s a reminder of that thing that I am and all that entails.
And it strips me of the safety of “personal belief” and takes away my claim to doubt and ignorance, even for just a moment, and… I have no real good, nor fond, nor pleasant anything memory or connection, to what I was… and when my safety net of “belief” falls away, I regret ever looking inward.