I’m not usually one to seek to people on the Internet for help but I’m so desperate and I really enjoy following your blog so I thought you might be able to help. I’m in high school and my bf has a different group of friends and I can’t push myself to speak up and talk to them or sit with them half the times story dislike it for me. Another boy in his friend group has a gf whom they all love and I really don’t know how to push myself to make them like me? Please help

Hi there, anon! 🙂 I’m sorry you’ve been having social trouble like this. Highschool is hard, because people are forced to socialize with one another with nothing in common but their age. That can make it very tough to connect with your peers.

Here’s my advice anon. Your BF’s friends don’t have to be your friends, and its not your responsibility to impress them or make them like you. It sounds like you don’t like them much anyway (since you have to push yourself to sit by them), so my advice is don’t bother. 

If your boyfriend wants you to hang out with his friends, then its his responsibility to make sure that they treat you with respect, and as a friend. If he doesn’t make any effort to do that– if he lets his friends pick on you, or openly disregard or have disdain for you, he isn’t doing a good job as a bf.

What you should do is hang out with your BF when he’s not around these friends, and when he’s around them,hang out by yourself, or with your own friends. It may seem counterintuitive, but its okay to hang out by yourself. Read a good book or play a hand held game that interests you! If you do this in a public space, other people who like the things you’re doing will approach you out of common interest, and you’ll be able to make friends based on those common interests.

You can also talk to your bf, and tell him that you feel disincluded by his friends and they make you feel bad, and you feel like you have to impress them. If he responds with sympathy and with trying to fix things, then he’s a good bf, and hopefully you two can fix it, whether its by him talking to his friends and getting them to accept you– or by realizing he has a shitty friend group!

If you talk to your bf, and he responds with hostility, or by placing the blame on you, and trying to defend his friend group, then I’m afriad he isn’t good boyfriend material, anon. You will DEFINITELY want to stop hanging out with his frineds and you may want to rethink whether you want to date this guy!

I hope this helps anon! 🙂

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