I just… I’m so fucking exhausted… I went looking on Tumblr (at reputable otherkin blogs, don’t worry) to try to find some nice blogs to cheer myself up and I constantly see this shit. I thought the community was supposed to be understanding? I guess fucking not. I’m just all alone in my feelings apparently.
I’m still fictionkin even if I’ve dropped a kintype. Just because I’ve dropped it in conversation doesn’t mean I’m not my kintype mentally. I am reminded every day that I am my kintype. I still have memories. I still have that immense feeling of being. I still have everything that I did before I was forced to drop it, so why am I and others like me being called fakes?
I cry myself to sleep some nights just thinking of my kintype. I can’t even name my kintype or see anything to do with them without a large emotional reaction. Why would I fake this? Why would I choose to go through this?
Don’t fellow otherkin always say “keep safe” and similar? I’m just choosing the safer option for my mental health and yet I’m being berated for it. I just don’t get it.
thats not what “dropping” a kintype refers to and is why people say its impossible to drop a kintype if it was truly a kintype. The general consensus among those of us that say that mean that if you drop a kintype and don’t have any feelings or memories anymore then it wasn’t really a kintype to begin with. What you are doing is ignoring that kintype. Its stressful and can be emotionally damaging so its not something I recommend doing unless the cost of embracing it is higher than the cost of ignoring it. I’m ignoring a kintype I embraced for a year because all the memories are horrible and of traumatic things with nothing good to balance it out and the shifts cause me to feel angry and depressed. I was already avoiding triggering shifts and memories for months before I decided to officially ignore it. it doesn’t make me any less that character and I still remember things but I do not advertise this aspect of my identity so people won’t talk to me about it and I avoid memories and shifts when possible.