sometimes i cant tell if i AM the character or if i just really like the character and as a result i’ve gained about a dozen questionable kins (im sure i can word that better but im kinda tired) and its frustrating

I know what you mean, anon. That sounds rough, and I understand the feeling. When you’re kin it can be difficult to figure out wait are those feels or kinfeels?

I really reccomend when you’re feeling your best and have the mental and emotional stamina to try to go through them (not all at once) and really sort out how you feel. Try using the tips here. 

And take it from me, don’t be embarrassed to say, whoops that wasn’t a kintype after all. Sometimes we’re mistaken even after years, like I was with being mazoku. Just because you were mistaken about one kintype doesn’t mean you’re not kin AND it doesn’t mean you don’t have some other kind of important connection with that character or thing.