Tell us your experience with the bull troll
Oh boy where to fucking start here. Buckle your seatbelts its gonna be a long drive.
I was infatuated with him for a long time. I still feel a lot of this weird affection for him, and I have since I first saw him in the comic.
Tavros… he drove me crazy. He never gave me the reaction I wanted, no matter what I did. I don’t even know if I knew what kind of reaction I was looking for, but whatever it was, he didn’t give it. At the end of the day I think all I wanted was a little push back, for him not to let me walk all over him like a limp noodle. I harassed him constantly.
It certainly wasn’t altruistic, but in my head I guess I wanted to make him stronger. I felt like he had all this potential and he was just wasting it completely. I thought if I could just piss him off enough, he’d find his teeth and bite back. I thought where the fuck does this cool fucker get off being so lame?
It drove me crazy that I couldn’t get a rise out of him. Especially after my blackrom with Eridan started to seriously cool off. I… fixated a little bit. I was definitely in denial about having a thing for him, red or black, for a while. I told myself I just wanted to throttle him.
I guess the cliff incident was part of that. I’m not going to defend that. It was a shitty thing to do, and I wouldn’t do it again. Its hard for me to feel actively awful about it though, because in the end it just kind of inconvenienced him for a while? I am not going to say I don’t feel bad, but I guess I feel like the whole chain of events it set off was way out of fucking proportion. Especially since it wasn’t even really from HIM. You know?
When he ended up on my land in sgrub, I tried that whole shitty fairy cosplay thing. If anything makes me cringe, that does. I had this whole idea of how it was going to go in my head, and it just… didn’t. It just didn’t at all.
We traveled together for a while after that, and I guess I sort of accepted that it wasn’t going to work out. It didn’t stop me pushing him though. And pushing, and pushing.
And then there was…. that incident. God tier. Ha. That’s a whole separate post. But the part that related to T….fuck. He let me down. Its the time he let me down the most. I thought he could do it. I really, really wanted him to be the person who could and he just… let me down. Fuck, I’m tearing up just thinking about the whole thing. You have no idea how much pain I was in, and he couldn’t help me. He wouldn’t. He just left me there to die!
I probably deserved. Hell, I know I did. It doesn’t make it fucking hurt less.
And then I killed him. That fucked me up then, it fucks me up now. Twisted in pretzels emotionally over it. Leading up to it, I thought it would be… i don’t know, emotionally satisfying? It was the culmination of our whole relationship. He finally manned up to come at me. And I got to kill him for letting me choke to death on my own blood.
But it made me feel like shit. Even before I started to miss him. The insufferable dork.
Of course I joined him eventually. In the afterlife.
We dated for a while, eventually. Maybe we just ground one another down. Our relationship was like a looming inevitability. It was like a shitty sitcom marriage. If we’d been alive we would have grown old and fat and bitter together. I’m glad we didn’t. I’m honestly glad Tav found the self respect to realize I was horrible and he deserved better than me. We were terrible for each other.
As for what he looked like. I don’t know. He was really handsome. Like, he had no right to look that good. His skin was on the dark side, and he had this big, stupid smile. (Matching his big stupid horns I guess). Honestly everything about Tavros was big and stupid looking. And handsome. And stupid looking.
